Catching Up

It has been a long time–much too long in fact–since I have posted.  And it’s been even longer since I wrote a post of my own.  I think a reason contributing to this is that I struggle with what to write, and more so: How will it be received? What will others think of my writing and topics? Is my writing of good quality and worth reading?  Do I really want to be seen as a blog guy?!

These are obviously just insecurities about my writing and the type of person I want to be viewed as, which I have slowly come to realize is absolutely ridiculous.  I have also come to realize that I can do as I wish, and that humans have a need to do in life what we are passionate about.  To deny those passions and desires is to squander the flame, and that is not what I want my life to look like.  When we feed those fires that burn within us and do what makes us feel alive, we become better and more complete people, and we make the lives of those around us more full of life as well.  For me, it has been a slow process of gaining self-confidence to love what I love, and to do what I love.  I feel good about this change and comfortability, but it also feels very elementary and an area where I’ve had to catch up to others.  But everyone’s journey and struggles are unique, and I am no different.

Therefore, I shall write.  I aim to revive this blog and post at least semi-regularly (weekly?), though I do not specifically know what that will look like.  I am not saying that writing is my biggest passion in life, but it is something I enjoy and desire to do more.  You can expect to read here a variety of issues and ideas–whatever is on my mind really.  You can expect me to oftentimes write to you, the reader, but to also write to me, and for me.  However, I’d like you to join me in a journey of writing, ideas, thoughts–in a word, life.

Awake my Soul

How fickle my heart
and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find
any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles
on things I don’t know
This weakness I feel
I must finally show

Lend me your hand
and we’ll conquer them all
But lend me your heart
and I’ll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes
I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep,
totally free
Har har, har har, har har, har har

In these bodies we will live,
in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love,
you invest your life
In these bodies we will live,
in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love,
you invest your life

Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker
Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker
You were made to meet your maker

“Awake my Soul”
–Mumford and Sons

For You, Jordo

Mumph!!!!!!!

Beauty

The Lark–Kate Rusby
Out in the field where the lark it flies,
Over the earth where my heart it lies,
Oh how it sings when the west winds blow,
Out in the field where no-one goes.

Oh how I’m cold will you let me in,
If you could hear me speak, where I would begin,
Time it is past now and I roam free,
Is it wrong to wish you still need me,
is it wrong to wish you still need me.

Out in the field where the lark it sings,
There I was waiting for all love brings,
There I stood and there I fell,
Out in the field that I know well.

Oh how I’m cold will you let me in,
If you could hear me speak, where would I begin,
Time it is past now and I roam free,
Is it wrong to wish you still need me,
is it wrong to wish you still need me.

Out in the field where the lark resides,
Here I’ll remain where my heart can hide,
Only the lark and the west winds know,
I’m in this field where no-one goes.

Oh how I’m cold will you let me in,
If you could hear me speak, where I would begin,
Time it is past now and I roam free,
Is it wrong to wish you still need me,
is it wrong to wish you still need me

A Small Cry from a Sometimes-Drowning Victim

“The world moves at an inhuman pace, compelling us to move with it. We have too little time for remembering the spirit that brought us to our place of work or study, too few opportunities for replenishing the inner resources upon which the genuine expression of our gifts depends. Before we know it, we are living at the surface, running on empty.”
–Contemplative Retreats on the Greensprings Website

Amen, and amen!

2008 Music: Best of

Ever since I began college, I have created a play list of songs on iTunes that I most listened to/enjoyed/represent that year the best.  The same was done for 2008 and was finalized some time ago, but I suppose I’ll post it now.  You’ll notice a few themes, and perhaps not much variety, but it is what it is.

So, without further ado, I present my 2008 “Best of” Play List.

Long Time Traveller–The Wailin’ Jennys
Girl in the War–Josh Ritter
Abacus–Fionn Regan
Bone of Song–Josh Ritter
Thin Blue Flame–Josh Ritter
Re: Stacks–Bon Iver
The Shadow Lands–Ryan Adams
Strawberry Swing–Coldplay
Skinny Love–Bon Iver
Monster Ballads–Josh Ritter
Have You Forgotten–The Red House Painters
The Temptation of Adam–Josh Ritter
Wait for Love–Josh Ritter
Rain–Patty Griffin

in a reflective state…

I don’t enjoy whining, but man do I miss Oregon!

The woods!  The towering pines, the lack of undergrowth, the volcanic rock, the brownish dry grass.

Highway 66!  The twists and turns, the ascents and descents, the flats and straights, the path from cabin to library and cookhouse and mailshed, the running routes!

The dirt roads!  Running/walking, at sunset, midday–anytime!

The city of Ashland in all its glory: the time spent there, the liquor, the coffee, the restaurants, the park, Shop ‘N’ Kart…the company.

The Profs!  John, Nancy, Doug, Melissa, Mark.

Cabin Ten!  Caleb, Andre!  Our music.  Our coffee.  Our woodstove.  Our kitchen.  Our dinners.  Everything.

Porch Parties.

The slow pace of life–’nuff said.

The books.

The lectures.

The one-on-one time.

The peace.

The simplicity.

The cabins.

The millpond.

Cana.

Mojo.

Dave.

Alison.

Phil.

Erin!

The stars.

And all of the wonderful souls with whom I spent my time: learning, chatting, dancing, driving, growing, talking, walking, eating, drinking, cooking, admiring…in a word, living.

This random sputtering of words is completley for me.  I think it is good for the soul and mind to randomly spit things out every once-in-a-while.  I had been having a hard time remembering all that Oregon was and is, and believe it or not, pecking a few buttons and letters and words and sentences on a keyboard really helped ease my soul and my mind.  Goodnight world.

Woods

I’m up in the woods
I’m down on my mind
I’m building a still
To slow down the time

–Bon Iver

new years, new leaves

…as in turning them over. Obviously time is a continuum, and while changing the final digit of a four-number period of time that splits itself into 365 (or 366) neatly sequenced sections doesn’t make being the person you want to be any easier, it sure provides a heck of a segue into attempting to be more deliberate, more purposeful, more Christ-oriented–and thus, other-oriented. That’s my resolution.

procrastination X 10…

One final left to go in this barrage of hideous final exams.  And actually, finals have been a breeze in comparison with previous semesters, so I’m not really complaining.  However, as I told my friend just now in the library, some procrastination time is absolutely necessary.  Therefore, I’d like to name some of my “favorites” of 2008, so here goes:

Favorite Book:
Ordinary Wolves–Seth Kantner
Apparently I’m obsessed with Alaska and haven’t even been there yet (Into the Wild and now this), but this easy read captivated me for a week or two this past summer.  The main character’s growing appreciation for his home, in the frozen tundra of Alaska, awakened his appreciation for his frozen, simple home.  I love that thought–simplicity in living–and also grew a bit more fond of my childhood home, though perhaps that was more out of a sense of finally leaving it behind as a safehaven of the past…

Favorite Album:
Coldplay–Viva la Vida
I feel like a bandwagon type of guy, but I’ve liked Coldplay since there early albums of my middle and high school years and feel entitlement to claim that I am not a bandwagon jumper, plus Viva la Vida is a very solid album.  I especially like “Strawberry Swing,” “Death and all his Friends” (and the hidden track, “The Escapist”), and “Lovers in Japan” (and the hidden track, “Reign of Love”).

Favorite Artist:
Bon Iver
This new release is just plain awesome!  This Wiscons-er recorded songs at his cabin in the north woods, so not only am I jealous of this, but Justin Vernon brings a unique sound to the table in a variety of different songs in this album.

PS. I’m counting Josh Ritter as a 2007 discovery friends, so though I don’t have him on here, he is definitely a “newer” find that I enjoy thoroughly.

Favorite Song:
Josh Ritter–”Bone of Song”
Speaking of Ritter, though the Hello Starling version was my first love, the version on which Hilary Hahn accompanies at the Verbier Festival in Switzerland, found on YouTube here:

Favorite Movie:
Into the Wild
While not entirely accurate to the true story–the book of the same name by Jon Krakauer–this tale is any aspiring nature man’s dream, except perhaps for the ending.  Critics cited McCandless’ stupidity in leading to his own death, and while he came to an imporant conclusion in the film that I guess I’ve also come to realize without doing the same sort of thing–that “Happiness is only real when shared”–he went for something that he believed in and wanted to do, and I respect him immensely for taking that step.

Favorite New Nephew:
Noah Anderson

Favorite Running Shoe:
ASICS GT-2130
Extremely durable–almost 700 miles!!!

Favorite Run:
Birthday Late Night “Bare Bethel Run”

Favorite Beer:
It was an experimental year for this, but I’ll have to be somewhat lame and choose Leinenkugel’s Honey Weiss.  Runners up are:
Summit EPA
Fat Tire
Blue Moon

Favorite Travels:
Oregon in May
Michigan in August
Stevens Point in October
Hanover in November

Favorite YouTube Clip:
“Jimmy Kimmel Explains what Miss Teen South Carolina Said”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR75L08SBHo

Others, perhaps coming soon…